What Shall I Think?...

Ivan Turgenev’s “What Shall I Think?…” is a brief philosophical meditation written in the form of anticipatory self-questioning at the threshold of death. The narrator imagines the final moments of consciousness and the uncertain mental landscape that may accompany the end of life. The reflection moves through possible reactions: regret over wasted time, nostalgia for fleeting memories, fear of moral reckoning, and uncertainty about any existence beyond the grave. Each possibility is considered and then unsettled, as thought itself appears fragile when confronted with the idea of final dissolution. The piece closes on a stark image of distraction and denial, where even a dying mind might cling to trivial details to escape the overwhelming presence of darkness. Turgenev reduces existential inquiry to a quiet, human moment of vulnerability, where philosophy meets the limits of attention and fading awareness.