Chapter 6
Where We Pretend Not to Know
Opening Playlist
Portishead — “Roads”
Arctic Monkeys — “Fire and the Thud”
James Blake — “Limit to Your Love”
The bar did not ask questions.
It took people as they were — tired, lonely, unfinished — and softened them under low light and slow music. Haoren liked working nights like this. After lectures. After restraint. After pretending he didn’t carry his studio home with him.
Black shirt. Sleeves rolled. Vanilla steady and quiet.
He was polishing a glass when the door opened and let in a slice of cold air — and Lihen.
Haoren didn’t look up at first. He felt it instead. The subtle shift in the room. Coffee and cigarette smoke, faint but unmistakable, threading through the warmth like a memory that refused to stay buried.
Lihen stopped just inside, as if unsure whether to cross the threshold. He wore light colors again — soft gray, almost white — too clean for a place like this. His hair was a little wild from the wind. His eyes searched before he could stop them.
They found Haoren.
For a moment, neither of them moved.
Then Haoren lifted his gaze, slow and deliberate, and the world narrowed to the length of the bar between them.
“Good evening,” Haoren said, professionally.
It hurt more than silence would have.
Lihen swallowed and took a seat. Not too close. Never too close. “Good evening,” he echoed, then added, quieter, “Professor.”
Haoren’s jaw tightened almost imperceptibly.
“What can I get you?” he asked.
“Whatever you think I need,” Lihen said, then smiled faintly, as if apologizing for himself.
Haoren poured without asking. Something dark. Bitter. Controlled. He set the glass down and withdrew his hand before it could linger.
“You shouldn’t be here,” Haoren said.
“I know,” Lihen replied. “That’s why I didn’t tell anyone.”
They existed in halves like this — statements that said one thing and meant another. Around them, the bar breathed: murmured laughter, the low clink of glass, music humming beneath it all.
“I won’t make a habit of it,” Lihen added. “I just needed… somewhere quiet.”
Haoren watched him take the first sip. Watched the way his throat moved. Watched the way his shoulders eased despite himself.
“Did it help?” Haoren asked.
Lihen considered the question seriously. “A little,” he said. “It feels like a place where people don’t have to be finished yet.”
Haoren’s fingers curled around the bar towel.
“That can be dangerous,” he said.
Lihen met his eyes. “So can pretending you don’t want something.”
The words were not loud. They didn’t accuse. They simply existed — like smoke.
Haoren leaned closer, just enough that no one else would hear him. “You’re still my student.”
“I know,” Lihen said immediately. “I haven’t forgotten. I don’t want you to break rules for me.”
“Then what do you want?”
Lihen’s gaze dropped to Haoren’s hands. The tattoos. The careful distance. When he looked back up, his eyes were darker.
“I want you to stop acting like I don’t matter to you,” he said. “Even when you’re doing the right thing.”
The vanilla deepened. The smoke answered. The space between them tightened — not with heat, but with truth.
Haoren straightened. He placed the towel down. Control returned to his posture like a second spine.
“You matter,” he said quietly. “That is the problem.”
They held each other’s gaze, the bar fading to background noise. No touching. No promises. Only recognition — heavy and irrevocable.
Lihen finished his drink and stood. “I’ll go,” he said. “Before I stay too long.”
Haoren nodded. “That would be wise.”
At the door, Lihen paused. He didn’t turn around this time.
“Two more years,” he said softly. “I can wait. I just needed to know I wasn’t waiting alone.”
The door closed.
Haoren stood behind the bar long after, vanilla lingering in the air, smoke ghosting his memory. He didn’t move until the song ended.
Some meetings were not beginnings or endings.
They were reminders.
And tonight, in a bar that knew how to keep secrets,
both of them remembered exactly what they were risking —
and why.